I have watched a lot of things end this year. I have seen the downward spirals and the bleeding hearts, the fair-weathered "we'll talk soon's" and the stormy weathered "what have we to talk about anymore". So when do we fight against the current and save what we have? And when do we realize, that time has come and now it is gone?
Change in my life has been a fairly regular thing. Nothing I feel has been simple and easy, and I don't expect that it will ever be that way. But I have come to expect that I do not know what to expect from this life and the people in it. These questions always lead me to the ultimate question that I can only do my very best to answer, without really ever knowing the answer. What am I to do about it? Whether I let you, or it, or the past, or whatever go, or whether I choose to keep you or it etc, in my life, I choose to be there when I am needed, I choose to love you even if you cannot love me in the same way, I choose to "talk to you soon" whether you care to hear from me or not and I choose to talk to you, even though I know we have very little to talk about. I will hold on to only the part that I care about and not so much worry about the effect the reaction has on me, that part I choose to let go. I will do what I can to benefit you, I will choose to be the person I am, whether you care about me or not. And I will do the best that I can to believe that through the actions and the choices I make, maybe somewhere, maybe someday, I will make a difference to someone, and if for no other reason, I will do it to praise my God. The End.
